Pepsi and Toilets Are All We Need

Dave found where to buy Pepsi. All's good with the world now!

And I haven't seen a squatty potty yet, so there is plenty of proof that western toilets do exist.

We figured out now that Phoebe likes rice powder and milk formula thick, like cream of wheat thick and she "drinks" it from a cup, two hands all by herself.

She had a pediatrician's appt yesterday and all is good. Nothing to note other than

to keep giving her the formula. She does seem a bit small especillly compared to other babies who are younger than she.

Phoebe fussed while the Dr looked her over, but she was immediately comforted as soon as I was able to pick her up! A good sign!

I'm a BIG girl...

Forget the bottle, or the sippy cup, I'm going straight for the glass!

The bottle is not going so well. Can't tell if it is the nipple or the formula, so we tried water from a glass and she drank it... And she wanted to hold the glass herself.

Phoebe slept through the night last night but I did not because she managed to get her legs through the crib rails and I thought she was going to slip out.So between 3 and 6am I kept getting up to move her legs back in the crib.

For breakfast Phoebe ate rice soup (Congee) and steamed eggs. For lunch she had rice cereal and went down for a nap immediately after. She likes to fall asleep on my shoulder.

Today we went the Registration Office, and then saw the Notary and Phoebe is officially my daughter. September 6th 2010.

Later we got to meet the director of her orphanage and took a picture of him. I was given her finding ad and the everything I sent in her care package(Rattle toy from Dave's mom, a receiving blanket from Sherry, a stuffed animal from my mom, and a disposable camera that hopefully has pictures on it).

I was also fortunate to receive the clothes that she was found in and her birth note that confirms her birth date December 27th 2009 at 10:20pm.

We are in Nanchang, and it has 4 million people and 4 million cars, bikes, and mopeds all thinking they have the right of way. Our guide said don't look down at the traffic just look at her.Our bus decided to make a U-turn across 6 lanes of traffic, and boy was that an experience!

Priceless...

I have Phoebe! 4:30 am EST. More to come...
Signed, the happy mommy!

T'was the Night Before ...

T'was the night before leaving
and all through my mind
were the lists I was checking  --
did I leave anything behind?

The directions and instructions address all the issues
about the papers, passports, and remembering tissues.
I with my 44 pound bag, Dave has his, too
We leave from Newark, gate number two.

A Boeing 777 will fly almost 16 hours overnight
to Hong Kong where we'll take in some of the sights.
A cable car to Victoria Peak, a ferry on Pearl River
Forty eight hours later, I'll have a daughter and Phoebe a mother.

We are equally lucky and fortunate to be united
and at the US Consulate, we become family after the oath is recited.
The wait has been a rollercoaster where I cried  and smiled --
I hung on because I wanted to make a difference in the life of a child.  

Miscellaneous Details

Rest assured my BTDT friends! I am taking the non stop from Newark to Hong Kong. My postscript was supposed to be a funny about how long the flights can get and after 23 hours, what's three more. As the saying goes, if you have to explain a joke, it didn't cut it! Sorry!

As I mentioned earlier, my friend Dave is coming to China with me. Dave is old school, and I've never been treated so well!!!

Sherry and Dave with son Jake in Disney.
Rachel, is now 3.
They traveled to China in May '08.

He took it as a given that he'd be carrying the backpack and all I had to do was worry about holding Phoebe! I'm so used to figuring out how to manage for myself ... it's kinda nice!

And, better yet, he's a hands-on Dad---the one who showed me how a bottle nipple "snaps" into place and showed me that infant medicine if given via syringe these days!

Don't have any takers on the math problem below!!!??? I could use some help to figure this out. I leave in 3 days!!! :)

Geometry Homework

In honor of the first day of school, I give you a geometry problem.

Get everything on my kitchen table into a 26x18x9 inch rectangle box, aka a suitcase.

For extra credit add adult clothes for 5 days and baby clothes for 5 days (yes we'll do laundry)

For extra, extra credit , figure out how to do this and have the box weigh 44 pounds or less!

Good luck!

Oh, that's good luck to me; you're just sitting there remembering why geometry wasn't your favorite class!

Phoebe's Nest

Phoebe's room is ready for its debut! Allow me to take you for a tour....

A view from the door... The crib is a hand-me-down from Sherry whose 12 yr old son Jake and 3 (today!) year old Rachel used. Thank you!!!

The chest of drawers circa 1966 :). The original pulls were removed, new wooden ones were bought and painted.

Kermit is resting comfortably on bedding from Cotton Tale, Lemon Drop pattern

The closet curtains are a diane original, note the happy frog curtain hooks, influenced by my interest in frogs.  

Despite the recent influx of frog decor and commercial accoutrements, I have been a frog friend since 1976-ish.

Proof of this is the small ceramic frog with the yellow dried flowers that sits on a shelf. These hand-made frogs were the favors at my Bat Mitzvah. 

At last count, my 8 yr old friend Benjamin has found over 30 frog "things" in my house ranging from a pull chain of a ceiling fan to the two live dwarf frogs in the kitchen. Won't he be suprised to find many more in Phoebe's room! 

In the view from the left, we see a piece of white picket fence and colored bird houses. The picket fence and the houses were Mill Store (Stoughton) purchases.

Four years ago the fence was used as a backboard for a twin bed.

Repurposing this piece served me well after I saw a Pottery Barn display with painted birdhouse mirrors hung from a wall. With the painting expertise of diane the houses found a home on the fence.

The window/mirror is a contribution from dear old dad who refurbished and refinished the old window and added panes of mirror. Have to admit this isn't an original. I think Dad turned out a lot of these a few years ago. Perhaps you have one, too!

Sweet 3.5 inch yellow and white lanterns need just a gentle breeze to make this handmade mobile the coup de grace of diane and howard's contribution. 

I Need to See Where I'm Going

It could be true that "seeing is believing," but for me "seeing is understanding." Perhaps you are a visual learner, too. Most adults are. I have marked up this map of China to help everyone understand where it is I'm going.

I fly into Hong Kong on Thursday September 2, which because of the 12- hour time difference it will actually be 7 pm September 3rd. In the next day or two I will fly north to Jiangxi Province. We will stay in a hotel in the capital city of Nanchang. Because the orphange is a 4.5 hour drive our children will be brought to us on Monday,September 6.

We stay in Nanchang for paperwork and time exploring the area our children are from. I'm not sure yet which day, but we will then travel to Guangdong Province and its capital Guangzhou. This is where the US Consulate is and my appointment there is September 13th.A couple more days of paperwork, a final medical check, and receiving the ever important Visa for Phoebe.

Late on September 15 I will fly from Guangzhou to Hong Kong and leave from there at 10:30 on September 16 and because of the same 12-hour time difference I will land in Newark at 2 pm September 16!

A Glimpse of the Experience in China

A National Geographic documentary on China's one-child policy and international adoption was filmed in 2000. Hosted by Lisa Ling, this 43-minute piece, China's Lost Girls is well worth watching.

Ling follows a group of families to China for an adoption trip, similar to what I will experience. In addition, she explores the history of the policy, and the difficult, emotional issues facing China and its people.

The link above takes you to the Hulu clip. It's free.

P.S. Today I tried to figure out the flights. My choices range from 23 to 26 hour travel time. Is there a difference at that point ? :)

Play the Lottery!

But I want dibs if you win !!! The number you should play? 444

4 years, 4 months, 4 days

4/29/06 to 9/2/10

I heard today officially that I leave for China September 2, to arrive September 3.

Heavy sigh.

Thanks Chuck for the lead on the travel agent. He's already called with flight choices!

Thanks Dave for reading the email announcement "for" me because infamous Andrea tears got in the way halfway through.

Erratum!

Where are my editor friends? Where is anyone with an eye for detail or consistency? Look at the post on July 15. The day of the referral, the day I learned the name of my daughter ... Typo!!!

Her surname is Tong, not Yong !

No dessert for me.

We Have A Date !!!

... sort of.

This is tooo much!!! :) So I've been waiting for the next milestone, TA. Remember this means Travel Approval. This is when all the paperwork to accept the child is delivered, all the clearances have cleared, the Visas are issued and China sends word that the parent(s) are approved to come to China. TA.

At the point of approval the adoption agency (in US) contacts the US Consulate in China, and makes an appointment for the group of families and children (more on the group later). When this appointment is secured, another milestone has been met. Then the agency's travel department starts to make hotel reservations, meeting times, in country touring plans, etc... all orchestrated to get you to your consulate appointment on the right day and time.


And if you are thinking how hard can that be... before you get to the consulate, there's jet lag, forgetting not to drink the water, more paperwork, appointments, approvals, oh and being united with your child! This takes about a week... And once the agency has these arrangements in place, the next milestone is getting your travel dates with 5 to 7 days notice!

Before you start to think that I am leaving this week, stop. These milestones did not quite happen like that. (Expect the unexpected.) Instead, I got an email message this past Thursday informing me that

TA and the Consulate appointments should be coming in the next few days. Will you be able to travel on September 1 or 2 with the understanding that your return date cannot be determined at this time but plan on a 14 to 17 day stay. Please reply to this email confirming that you are able to travel during this time. 

There's the answer to "When" ... For everyone, including me, who has asked and wondered, doubted and hoped ... September 1 or 2, 2010. (still, the unknowing continues!)

Four years, four months, three or four days.

At this moment the infamous Andrea tears just might be about the wall coming down. The wall that protected me from enduring the always increasing wait, the disappointment, the frustration. The same wall that allowed me to keep moving forward, beginning to teach; meeting new and dear friends; taking hikes in Mount Desert Island, Maine.

It has been a long time.

Let's change the countdown, shall we? Is there a such thing as a "countup"? Well, I'm the editor, and I'm declaring editorial license... there is a such thing as a countup. The next milestone is a countup to being united with my forever Phoebe.

Need I Say More?

How can you go wrong in a home like this, in the
middle of nowhere, with a good book;

Foxboro Bed and Breakfast, Selinsgrove, PA

and no responsibilities except the will power to leave!

Taken' a Break

It's been a week of paperwork, notaries, questions, couriers, cashier's checks, more questions, UPS tracking, emails, photocopies, more questions, scanning, attachments,  more emails, more photocopying.... and what am I doing this weekend?

Going away.

A last hurrah as me, a quiet getaway, some rest and reflection--just seems like a good thing to do.

Adoption Alphabet Soup

Let's see how good you are...

DTC 4/25/06

LID 4/29/06

DOR 7/15/10

LOA 7/19/10

DD Phoebe Liat-Yin

waiting for TA

That's right, the adoption community has a language of its own. When posting messages in adoption-related forums, these abbreviations become part of your signature line

Here's the translation:

Date To China is the date my paperwork arrived in China.

Log in Date is the date my paperwork was well, logged in. aka when the wait "starts"

Date of Referral is the date I got The Call.

Letter of Acceptance was the day I signed this document and returned in to the agency

Dear Daughter is Phoebe
Travel Approval is, actually I'm not sure. It might be the day the agency calls and says, Andrea you need to be [here] on [here], which can be 5-7 days from when that call comes!

And TA is what I'm waiting for. Maybe in a few weeks!!!

Another Pic of Phoebe?

I came across this picture rather unexpectedly. I think Phoebe is in the front row, in the pink. What do you think?

Addendum:

A few days after this post I heard from the agency that the baby in the fusia top was not Phoebe. In fact, Phoebe was not even in the picture!

Still, it was a wonderful picture to come across because the baby in the second row of walkers, far left, is the child of a member of my travel group, and I was thrilled to give this to h er parents.

Christmas in July!

Did you read the post "A Word about Family"? You know then that Dave is traveling with me and I mentioned how involved he is reading and researching etc.... Well here's an example.

I emailed Dave this morning and told him to watch out for the travel packet in the next day or two.

Christmas 09--Dave helping son Jake (12) place the star.

This packet will give us more info about documentation that needs to be notarized, documents that need to be brought with us, directions for Drs appt's, wiring money, attaining new bills, etc, etc.

He writes back, "I can't wait to open it!" "It's like Christmas!" So here you go Dave, Christmas in July!

Santa brought you and me our gift at 4:39 pm this afternoon. And you thought I didn't believe in Santa!

Off to do more paperwork...

Fruit of the Loom

Need to give credit to my coworker, Madelyn, for this post. She asked, as many have, 'What's the significance of the fruit on Phoebe's lap'?

I explain that Chinese babies wear open pants, because they don't wear diapers. The fruit is strategically placed to hide this fact!

And Madelyn responds, 'This gives a whole new meaning to Fruit of the Loom!'

More Pictures and What's Happening

Today the letter was fed ex'd to my agency in Colorado. From there, my intent to adopt is communicated to CCAA. I believe one of the things that happens there is that an appointment at the Chinese consulate in Guangzhou is being arranged. When this date is set, then the agency can plan my trip and tell me when and where I need to be.

Jiangxi Province is near Hong Kong, so I will probably be flying there first. A "typical" trip would be spending 2 to 3 days to adjust to the time and to do a little touring. Then the group of families (I don't know how many yet) will travel to the Province. Shortly after arriving is when I think we receive our children. This day is commonly known as "gotcha day". Some families choose other names like Family Day, Forever Family Day. More than four years ago, when I first heard of this concept, I decided to name this day M&M day. Mommy and Me Day. And one way we'd mark that day would be to eat M&Ms. As I write this I still like the idea, but I'm holding out until I have the chance to experience that day.

The next few days are spent in the province while paperwork is done. The details of what happens on those days is unclear. Our children are ours at this point, so there is time to address any  minor medical issues, like colds, scabies, lice. We can choose to do our own thing or take ventures around the area. With just under a week to go, we head to Guangzhou. This is where the consolate is, and I believe a medical check. In between the formalities and appointments more quiet time with your child and/or time spent shopping, taking walks etc. I will have a clearer idea of the trip in a few days, but this is the gist.

My First "Feeling" as an Adoptive Mom

Last night I signed the letter of acceptance to adopt Tong Min Yin. The emotional response (aka infamous Andrea tears) began when I took a minute to read through the Chinese to the English translation ...

Name: Tong Min Yin

Identity: institutionalized child whose birth parents cannot be ascertained

In my mind I saw an image of a woman, her back to me, walking on a dirt road toward her home.  The further she went the more I felt sad for the baby. I know it's inappropriate to presume what the mother was thinking. In my image though she was  deeply afraid for her child and at the same time had a true measure of trust or faith that her child would be cared for.

A woman in China is trusting me to love and nurture her child. My awareness of the true presence of a trusting birth mother is what made the signing of the letter that much more of a "moment" for me.